What not to do when you are home alone with a toddler

I was doing some busy work around the house today as Sophie happily colored and watched Elmo visits the doctor for the umpteenth time this week. I think that It's a good idea to go out on the back deck to do a quick sweep. I tell her mommy is stepping outside,ruffle her hair and walk out,Shutting the door behind me. BIG MISTAKE.

I'm sweeping away and after about 45 seconds of me being outside I hear "CLICK". She LOCKED ME OUT. I try to tell her how to push the lock back up (We have a sliding glass door).She laughs and runs off. 30 seconds later she runs back in the living room and sits down 15 feet from the door and opens the entertainment center cabinet. The little snot looks at me waves smiles,says "Hi mommy!" and blows me a kiss! Arggg I am PANICKING. I call my husband, He is almost 3 hours away at a location for work.Shit. I notice my front door is unlocked. OK, good maybe someone will walk by outside and I can holler for help.

All the while Sophie has emptied about 25 DVDs out of their cases, emptied the tub of crayons and was coloring on the inserts of the DVD cases.She leaves the living room and is out of site.I yell.I yelled some more.I am FREEAKING our here. FINALLY after God knows how long she comes back in. I yell for her and she comes running to the door. I am yelling through the glass for her to unlock the door. She puts her hand on the lock and laughs. We played this 'game' for a good 15 minutes until my neighbor downstairs hears my yelling. She steps out and asks if I need to be let in. "UM, you think!?" She sends her boyfriend up and he lets me in.

In the 40 minutes I was locked outside Sophie managed to:

-Get the milk out of the fridge and a dirty cup out of the dishwasher.Leaves them on the kitchen floor,refrigerator open.

-Pull EVERY SINGLE book off of the bookshelf.

-Empty damn near everything out of the entertainment center cabinet.

-Pump softsoap all over the bathroom counter.

In conclusion, I will be saving any outdoor chores for when my husband is present.